ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
