she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
