I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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