everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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