At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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