Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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