I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
