Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
