so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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