my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
