But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you win again, gameday.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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