Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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