forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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