I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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