he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry my hands just texted you
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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