I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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