im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
