I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
there was a trapeze. enough said
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
