garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
