yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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