never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
