doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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