it's too hot outside to masturbate.
4 words: hood of his car
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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