i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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