I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize