READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
