I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
