I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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