when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
420 ftw
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
