either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize