who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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