Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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