she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
