i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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