Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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