I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
