You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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