They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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