how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize