Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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