just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
