You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
