her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
That's intense
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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