I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
