i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
