Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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