We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
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My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
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I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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