Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
