he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
