So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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