Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Don't make out with my wife yet
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
