Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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