i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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