I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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