My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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