i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There r osticjed everywhere
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
