I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
