It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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