Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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