My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
