Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hell yes lets make some ravioli
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
