I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dignity is for republicans.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
