Moan for me like Helen Keller
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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