Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
