after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
